In life it is very important to recognize and appreciate anything that is a part of our experience, because practically there is no any experience that is completely useless. It is clear that weak by nature, so it will not be a surprise if note the failures and successes that we had or even the big dreams that we have realized as well as the big mistakes that we marked in the history of our lives. Yet; there are those who say that the errors and faults should be overlooked; and what should be remembered is only that which makes a part of successful experience of our lives. However; this idea is a betrayal, we should not forget completely our mistakes and even the successes that we made in the course of lives, but also whenever that we recall such experiences, we should not accept to be slaves nor of our successes and neither of our mistakes.
One of our greatest challenges in life is the attainment of happiness or a pure satisfaction. It is recognized that man's activity is based on his nature which is poor, needy and incomplete, so he acts for the sake achieving the maximum satisfaction of his life. Therefore, the fundamental challenge of human beings is fighting for the better and improvement of their lives in order to achieve a full satisfaction of it. But what is apart of worrying is that in this world there is nothing that can give full satisfaction to human beings. That is why the feelings of loneliness, disappointment, frustration, despair and lack of understanding of the meaning of life, are diseases of the soul that reside in every human being, whether rich or poor. Many people think the orphans, the elderly, abandoned and street children are only true victims of loneliness, but the truth is that all human beings are victims of psychological feelings mentioned above.
Many believe that quiet people are at high risk of falling into depression, or frustration, but actually it depends on the nature of the person, because the free will and the openness in expressing emotions and the freedom of expressing the feelings with a pure happiness though they can contribute in some extent. I met many friends that always seemed to be happier people than me, very expressive, very free in expressing their feelings towards others, yet they were victims of loneliness; mostly when they were in environment isolated from others, for example in their rooms. This is to show that our true happiness bases on our souls, that means it's not my dating with my girlfriend, or the nice house that I have, and not the power that I exercise within the society or the country in general that can ensure my happiness, but only my conviction of being happy based on my soul. In this case, the true and pure human happiness arises on the soul on the basis of the spirit of self releasing from all disturbances, such as envy, hatred, frustration, disappointment, despair, greed, contempt for others and so forth; focusing exclusively on love of life and being faithful in defending the truth. And this spirit can only be achieved through introspection or self-knowledge based on the Socratic principles which fundamentally aims to find the moral means and values that can ensure peace and harmony in social relations. Many people do advise us to be happy, but the question is not happiness, but the reason for our happiness, we must not waste our time in searching for happiness; but we have to search for to the reasons and basis of our happiness. We must understand what leads us into happiness and what its base is.
Normally, we live under many psychological problems and difficulties created by ourselves and we hardly do recognize their origins. If not enough, we are infected by complaints of many problems concerning others and sometimes ourselves, and due to this, we fail to distinguish that there are other things or problems that we do not need to complain about them, because their solutions can be found on the basis of our individual challenges. Anselmo in reference of Evagrius` ideas tells us that we must carefully observe our thoughts, interests, and feelings, and their laws, in this case if a man wants to know his own difficulties which he faces such as demons; he has to be careful with his reality, he should be aware of it by observing well his feelings and thoughts. He should seek to understand when and how the demons begin to manifest within his memory or even in his heart. And among such demons which one that is mostly prevailing in his everyday life and then to seek for the reasonable means protecting himself from such demons, it is through this that we can easily being aware of the types of difficulties or problems that we can not complain or ask for solutions from those that need solutions from the help of others and those which their solutions can be found on the bases of our own initiatives. Speaking on the bases of the reality of this world I acknowledge that without life there will be no any sort of suffering or problem that means any human being who exists in this world is the victim of any kind, of suffering depending on the reality of his life. One of the realities that I have discovered in this world is that there is no any style of living that can be considered as authentic in providing a full satisfaction to human beings. The for instance, couples at the beginning they seem to express happiness, but as time goes on they come the difficulties which constitute the consequences of such style of life. In the course of their lives they can face despair, loneliness, mistrust, they can even doubt their promise of loving each other which led them to conclusion of marring each other, so due lack of initiative of harmonizing these difficulties, many of them end up in divorce. In my point of view in relation to this problem, I find to reasonable that people who want to marry should have in mind that where there is more than two people there different ways of thinking, feeling and even interests. And for them to live in peace and harmony, they have to seek for harmonizing the differences among them that means among them no one should feel excluded from exercising his rights, feelings, freedom, and nobody should try to dominate the other they must fight or search the reasonable means that can guarantee the satisfaction and harmony of their relations. It is pointed out in imitation of Christ that we need to win ourselves by searching for becoming better in our every day life, we also need to struggle ourselves for doing good actions, and that is what should be our overriding commitment. Practically, this is the challenge and duty for every human being, according to our style of life, it can be political, religious or any other social reality framed in the human realm. In this case a good life can be achieved when we have a conviction for carrying this authentic way of life itself, this means the more fight for the scope of a good life we stand for a high chance of occupying a certain level in the range of values that ensure well-being of humanity Jacques Martain in reference to Platle believes that good life is that which occupies a certain or specific scale in the world of values.
In relation to the issue of loneliness, as I have pointed out initially that this difficulty is experienced by every human being, but the truth is that it varies depending on the state of the person. For example, being single because of the mission of the priesthood can not be compared with a person who chose to be single for a free will. As we have seen many times many complaints of believers that a priest or sister has a wife or even son, it happens because he had no desire of be single, but he opted for living celibacy, simply because it was one of the requirements for priesthood, so due to his need of the mission of priesthood he had to pretend in believing or accepting the requirement only as a passport.
Practically there are many who are in this line, and they are the people who live a great loneliness, because tend to think that celibacy is the source of the loneness which they are undergoing mostly when they are isolated from others. They don’t have any initiative of searching for living a pure happiness or the satisfaction of their souls, and as a result; they constantly suffer from loneliness. They only can find happiness when they are in the midst of others. In relation to this I remember one day our Italian teach told us that the situation of loneliness was remarkable in convents which where specific for the old priests in Italy, they should only manifest happiness in the presence of visitors, and if there are not visitors they could just take alcohol as the means of getting rid from loneliness. Anyway loneliness is more critical to people who are living celibacy no by their own conviction but as one of the requirements of their mission and mostly when they consider it as the base of the problem of loneliness. Actually, these are the people who have opted to live celibacy as the requirement of the mission which they always dreamed of pursuing as a result they are always victims of loneliness. But this could not be any problem if they had decided to live the celibacy on the basis of their own conviction as we use see in case of many people who have decided to live celibacy not due to a specific mission, but a simple desire or will of living celibacy. Then someone would ask does it mean that such people do not feel solitude? The truth is that they also do feel the loneliness, but they just take it easy, they consider it as normal and in the sense of threat to their lives, John Powell in his reference of the idea of Epictetus said it is not your problems that are bothering you. It is the way that you are looking at them. So in this case is not the problem of solitude that disturbs the people, but the way that they understand the reality of such problem.
However, the problem of loneliness, in other circumstances may arise on the basis of lack of self-esteem, and from the lack of self-esteem we can easily consider ourselves as useless people especially from our feelings that after comparing ourselves to others, we can easily conclude that others do not care or consider us. But we must take into consideration that belonging if we belong in a given group, it is because we have our individual identities and it is from which we reveal our reality of being a member of this or that particular group because the group itself without the individuals should not be. It is true that in the groups most cases there are great tendencies of excluding others because they are weak or delayed, not active and so forth, but the most interesting is that when the weak or delayed, has an ability of doing something that needed by the members of such group, the presence of that weak person becomes valuable or remarkable simply because there is something which is needed to be done and such person who is weak is the one who has skills or ability of doing such thing in its expected sense.
The problem is that we do read the Bible and other several books that advise us to value others, but still we hardly appreciate and recognize the values and rights of others. In many cases we are advised that we cannot use our skills to belittle others who do not have those skills, but even though we use our strength, our skills, and our power to offend others. Actually, it was not within my expectations for us to be ignorant of human reality, values and rights at this level.
On the other hand we who are victims of humiliation, physical and spiritual abuses must not lose courage in the hope of peaceful and harmonious life. And this hope can be accomplished if we have an initiative based on the patience in fighting against these injustices that many people demonstrate against the others. We can not accept losing our rights and values that we have by virtue of our nature; due to humiliation and devaluation which other are revealing to us. Let us try our best level in fighting for realization of a peaceful and harmonious society where equality, rights and values will prevail in our relations. We can not seek to lead lives of others in disappointment, despair, frustration and loneliness, but we must seek to reveal the meaning and truth of life to those who fell in disappointment, loneliness, despair and so forth.
Finally I stress that in life we have many problems, and there is no life without pain or suffering; and speaking on the bases of the reality of this world there will no be any pain or suffering without life, so there is no reason to lose hope in life because of any problem or suffering. And as I said there is no maximum satisfaction in this world, this means as we continue living in this world we will be offended by those whom love, by the members of our family, friends as well as our enemies, but this must not be a reason of making us to lose hope in life by falling into disappointment or loneliness.
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